


Jokes on You: I'm gay and also in love with you

by NoMansWindow2846



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Awkward Romance, Awkwardness, Brent Lilley - metioned, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Vernon Shaw - mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 22:59:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9628967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoMansWindow2846/pseuds/NoMansWindow2846
Summary: If Dan can finally muster the courage to say his feelings, then maybe things won't be so bad.





	

**Author's Note:**

> first chapter of like a six part fic about Dan and Barry and learning the ins and outs of their new relationship

Dan sighed, letting Barry absorb what he just said. Dan lifted his head, his eyes reflecting back at him in the mirror. Slapping the counter, he hissed, “This is stupid!” His eyes flickered back and forth from his reflection to his hand, debating whether practicing was helping or hurting him more. Dan convinced himself of the former and began his speech again, starting with the same line, “I love you.”

Dan’s eyes wandered over his form as he tried to place the next line. Would it be something that Dan loved about the man or would it be more what made him fall for the younger man in the first place. ‘Past, then present’, Dan decided before forming the next few sentences in his head. “From the top,” Dan tried to give himself a reassuring smile, but it ultimately failed. Sighing once more, he locked eyes with his counterpart. “I love you.” Dan paused, he was really trying to confess his feelings. None of that ‘oh it’ll go away’ stuff, wholeheartedly he wanted to say something to Barry. “I really love you.”

Dan shot up as he heard muffled snickering coming from the hall. ‘Barry isn’t supposed to be home for another hour.’ Dan checked the time on his phone and it was the dreadful hour. Actually nearly ten past when Barry predicted his arrival and Dan’s stomach bottomed out.

Dan stuck his head into the hall and Barry was leaning against the opposite wall, his arm covering the lower third of his face. Dan’s mind raced to come up with something positive if Barry had heard the last ten minutes of Dan trying to make a speech. When they locked eyes, Barry turned away first, riding another wave of giggles. ‘Laughter meant he doesn’t hate me. That’s good, right?’

Barry was the first to speak, chuckles breaking up his speech, “You’re… you’re really… really full of yourself, huh?”

Dan let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Um, Bear, Barry, just how much did you hear?”

Sobering up quickly, Barry took a step away from the taller man. “Oh, um, not much. Just a lot of ‘I love you’s, y’know. Literally all I heard was ‘I love you’. I swear.” Barry rubbed the back of his neck, feeling like he had intruded on a private moment. “Sorry. I’m just going to go now.”

Dan watched Barry retreat down the hall. ‘If what Barry said is true and all he heard was the ‘I love you’s, then he doesn’t know, right?’ Dan entered his room and began pacing, his mind elsewhere. ‘Would it be better if he did know now or if I told him later? I mean, I am going to tell him eventually, right? Of course. It’s not like the feelings have gone away for the past like 4 months. Oh man, this is gonna be a great story to tell our kids-’ Dan paused, repeating himself aloud, “Our kids?”

That was it. That was the last straw. Dan was fully invested into a man that just as straight as Dan thought he was a year ago. And now he was thinking up theoretical kids and a future together with his roommate and close friend. Dan had to say something soon or else he would absolutely lose his mind worrying about boundaries and everything.

‘Okay. The speech was a good idea, but he caught me red-handed.’ Dan sat on his bed, pondering how he could ease Barry into the situation. ‘Coming out might be a good first step.’ Dan nodded to himself, ‘Coming out could explain the whole speech thing. And then say something like a week later, give it time to sink in.’ Dan nodded once more, pulling himself to his feet. ‘I can wait a week after waiting 4 months.’

Opening the door revealed a shuffling Barry. He pulled away when he noticed Dan in the doorway. “Sorry. I just wanted to make it clear that I’m sorry and the only thing I honestly clearly heard was the ‘I love you’s. I couldn’t help but feel like I interrupted something important and I’m really sorry.”

Dan stared down at the younger man, his heart in his throat. All he wanted to do in that moment was scream his affection and comfort Barry, but all his mouth could muster was, “It’s fine. Sometimes I just need a pep talk.” Barry nodded, his mouth trying to determine what it wanted to reflect. “I, uh, I actually have something I wanna say and that’s kinda the reason for the pep talk, actually.”

Barry took another step back, “I’m all ears.” Barry watched Dan’s face intently, noticing all the discrepancies and fluctuations. The larger emotions were easier to pull out, but there was something fleeting just under the guise of anxiety.

“Okay. I just… Fuck. This isn’t how I thought this would go at all. Jesus.” Barry placed a hand on Dan’s upper arm, giving a small smile. It wasn’t much, just something between friends, but it helped enough for Dan to spill out what he learned about himself nearly 8 months ago. “I like dick.”

Barry dropped his arm. He had picked up that it was something akin to this, but he was still slightly surprised. “Oh. Good for you, I guess? I don’t know what else to say really. The whole ‘I need to tell you something’ thing made me think it was something like this.” Barry paused, trying not to get his hopes too high. “So is this like an ‘I have a boyfriend and we’re gonna fuck here’ type of thing? Is that why you came out?”

Dan reeled back, “No, no, no. Nothing like that. I just… I dunno.” Dan shrugged, eyes falling to the floor, “I felt like I should, y’know. It’s been in my mind for like 6 months, so I thought I should say something.”

Barry stifled a laugh, letting a snort come out. Dan snapped back to the younger man. “I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you, I swear. It’s just kinda funny to me.”

Dan crossed his arms, trying to act offended, but in all honesty, his heart was broken. The last thing he needed was Barry to think his sexuality was a joke or something. Dan sputtered out a response, “I’m funny to you?”

Barry waved his hand, “Not you coming out or anything like that. I just realized something and it’s kinda funny to me, but you probably won’t like it.” Dan countered, mentioning that they had similar humors. Barry frowned. ‘Of course he would say that and now I’m backed into a corner.’ Barry sighed, “It’s kinda hard to explain what’s so funny about it and I don’t really wanna go into all the details, y’know.”

Dan leaned into the doorframe, “Well, it is Saturday and I have nothing going on really, so I’m willing to listen.” He flashed Barry a smile and Barry huffed, avoiding the gaze of the older man. Dan’s heart skipped a beat when he caught a glimpse of what could have been a blush on the younger’s face, but it was stupid and a bit pathetic for Dan to get his hopes at a blush that was caused by embarrassment more than anything else.

"Well, it's not that funny anymore, since I have to explain it and... and I guess this is a good time as any, so um, it's... how do I put this?" Barry avoided Dan's eyes as he gathered the courage to come out as well. "The joke is that we thought the other was straight and we're not."

Barry winced as he spoke and Dan blinked. Dan knew he could be oblivious, but how had he missed something like that? 'Well, I missed it in myself for more than 30 years, so I have no right.' Dan opened his mouth to say something, anything really, but his tongue refused to move.

Barry moved down the hall, shuffling into his own room. He locked eyes with Dan before closing his own door. 'I knew, I _knew_ that something like this would happen. I should have just refused. Dan's nice enough to let it go, but I just had to go there. Now everything is going to worse because we could theoretically bone each other and then stupid tension and one of us would leave our house and get separate places and cause a rift in Game Grumps. All because I decided to tell a joke.' Barry leaned his forehead against the door, praying to any god that Dan would let all this go. It wasn't like he had a crush on the older man or anything. Honestly, Barry just didn't want to fuck up their friendship over a gay joke.

Dan stared at the wooden door, wondering if what Barry said was true. That he wasn't straight. 'Well, how do we know that Barry would even remotely be interested in us?' Dan moved away from his own door, closed it, and flopped on his bed. 'I'm attractive. I know that. The fans _certainly_ know that. Everyone knows that. But what if Barry isn't straight in the sense he doesn't like anyone? That could be true. When was the last time you honestly saw him flirting or bringing someone home to bang or talk about dates or dating?' Dan ran his mind through all the time they had been close friends or roommates, but Dan couldn't bring up a single instance. He could bring up stupid life stories from the man, but none included a significant other.

Dan pulled a pillow over his face and let out a muffled scream. It was just his luck to fall for a guy that isn't interested in him or anyone. Another scream passed his lips before he pulled the pillow away from his face. He was a grown man for fuck's sake, the least he could do was act like his world wasn't crashing down around him. He had fallen for girls plenty of times beforehand and gotten over the rough break-ups. He could get over Barry.

Dan sat up, letting the pillow fall into his lap. He stared down at it as he planned his next move. 'Should I see if Barry's okay? He did look a bit upset when I didn't say anything. Should I have laughed?' Dan shook his head, 'No. That wouldn't have helped much. Barry had just come out right after me and I couldn't say anything? I am absolutely the worst friend ever.'

Dan stood with a flourish and went to his door before pausing. His hand hovered over the knob, wondering exactly what he would say to the editor next time they crossed paths. ‘Be supportive. Doesn’t matter who he may or may not be attracted to. He was supportive when you came out. You gotta be supportive of him.’ Dan gave a curt nod before swinging the door open, half expecting the man in question to be shuffling his feet outside the door once more.

But no, Barry was behind his own door, contemplating the same hurdle. He shifted on his bed, eyes sealed to the ceiling. ‘Dan hates me. He utterly and completely hates me.’ Barry adjusted himself once more. ‘He doesn’t hate you. He just doesn’t know what to say. If you had come out first, then you wouldn’t know what to say when he came out. It’s just weird that you both came out at the same time. If you had waited a while, none of this awkwardness would be here.’ Barry brought an arm to shield his eyes from his light. ‘What the fuck am I going to tell him?’ His thoughts halted at a knock sounding from his door. ‘Just what I fucking need. Dan to come in and be all sweet and supportive.’ “I need time to mope,” Barry called out.

That was not at all what Dan expected. A ‘go away’ or ‘leave me alone’ would have been fine, but ‘time to mope’? Dan knocked again, “Dude, don’t be like that. I’m coming in. This is your only warning.”

Dan turned the knob when Barry called out again, “I said, I need time. Please just leave me alone.” Dan let go of the handle and Barry let out a sigh. The absolute last thing Barry wanted to deal with was an overly affectionate Dan right now. Barry heard a bit of shuffling from the other side before his door was kicked open.

Dan stumbled in, “Nope. You don’t get to beat yourself up because you don’t think I don’t support you in absolutely everything you do and are.” Barry sat up and blinked at the older man. “I will stand by you no matter what comes down the pipe because you are one of my best friends and I love the shit out of you. Nothing is going to change that. Not your attraction or lack thereof.”

Barry swung his legs over the side of the bed and stared at the older man, who was breathing rather heavy for not doing anything strenuous. Barry’s mind snapped back to night terror Dan experienced throughout their time as roommates and dread filled his heart. “Dude, are you okay? Do you need to sit?”

Dan shook his head, catching on to his breathing patterns. He took a few deep breathes before turning back to the shorter man, “I’m okay. I just… wow. You aren’t reacting to anything I just said.”

Barry cast his eyes downward, rubbing his neck, “Sorry. It’s just your breathing reminded me of the night terrors you get sometimes and, I dunno, panicked a bit.” Barry’s eyes flicked to the older man before returning the floor, “Sorry. Um, thanks, I guess. I love you, too, man. And… wait. Lack thereof?” Dan’s eyes widened a bit as they meet Barry’s. “What does that mean?”

Dan shrugged, a nervous smiling playing off his lips. “Well, you said you weren’t straight, but didn’t clarify. So I thought maybe you meant not straight as in no attraction. I mean, it is a thing that exists, apparently. I’m the opposite. I’m down for anyone. Sorry. This is about you.”

Glancing around to make sure that there wasn’t a hidden camera or something, Barry slowly nodded. “Um, okay. No, first off. There is attraction, mainly guys recently, but I’m like you. Except opposite, I guess. You’re really into ladies with a bit of dudes thrown in there and I’m really into guys with a bit of girls thrown in. Or at least recently. I didn’t realize how amazing guys were until like a year ago or something. I dunno. I…” Barry trailed off. Dan gave an encouraging nod. “I guess what I wanted to say was that I’m glad you felt like you could trust me with that.”

‘Fuck.’ The word was on repeat in Barry’s head as he studied the older man. It wasn’t at all how he wanted to end the speech, but there it was out in the open. He wanted to mention how he wasn’t really into anyone ever and in the past 3 years all his crushes, romantic and sexual, came to a whopping total of 12. He wanted to mention how he knew guys were attractive after watching a NSP music video Arin showed him. He wanted to mention that all the guys he had crushes on after that were in some way like Dan, tall, lanky, confident. He wanted to mention that he had a crush on Dan that came and went like a tide, rising up every couple of months. He wanted to mention that he may be falling for the singer and that there seemed to be nothing that could stop the train from plunging of the cliff. But none of it came out.

Dan wasn’t exactly sure how to handle all the information Barry just dumped on him. First, Barry was attracted to people. Second, Barry was bi, just like Dan. Third, Barry was way into dudes. All three statements lifted Dan’s heart so high he thought it might end up in heaven. “Thanks for trusting me.” That’s the only thing Dan’s mind could come up with that didn’t sound overly cheesy or his true feelings. Dan watched as Barry seemed to relax a bit at the statement.

Dan’s rule of fuck-it came to bit him in the ass as it screamed for him to lay down everything right then and there. Dan squeezed his eyes shut, balling his fist and taking a shaky breath. ‘Just do it already.’

Barry watched Dan tense up, wondering what Dan was going to spit out next. The last time he looked this tense, Dan admitted to damaging one of Barry’s shirts by setting it on fire. Barry ran through a list of his belongings that meant the most to him. Nothing was missing or damaged, so Barry had unquestionably no clue what would come out of Dan’s mouth.

“I love you, Barry.”

Barry blinked. ‘Was that all?’ Butterflies formed a ball of hope in Barry’s stomach. “I love you, too, Dan.”

Dan tensed more and Barry speculated if Dan could get any more on edge. “No. You don’t understand.”

“Dan?”

Dan forced himself to relax at the concern, his heart pounding in his ears. ‘One more breathe and then just say it.’ He took a deep breath, hoping it would calm his shaking hands. ‘Now say it.’ “I love you. Romantically. Like a lot. I’ve just been too big of a baby to say anything and I hope this doesn’t ruin our friendship.”

“What?”

Dan opened his eyes, looking down at the man. Tears were forming in the corners of the younger’s eyes. “Oh, god. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m so sorry, Bear.” Dan reached out to hug the shorter man before dropping his arms. “I’m really sorry. I can go if you want.”

Barry searched Dan’s face, eyes shifting away from the editor. ‘It’s genuine. He loves me. He really loves me.’ “I love you, too.” Dan’s eyes flicked to his own, hopeful, before losing their light and moving to another location. “Not just platonically. Man, do you know how intoxicating you are?” Barry saw Dan’s eyes widen slightly, remaining on their fixed location. “I didn’t know how attractive or heartbreaking guys could be until Arin showed me one of your NSP videos. Like holy fuck. It’s not fair how attractive you are. You’re literally a sex god and I’m a potato.”

“No, I’m the potato and you’re the god,” Dan mumbled, fist covering his mouth. Barry let out a hearty laugh and the butterflies returned to Dan’s stomach. “I love your laugh.”

“I love your hair, even if it does get everywhere.”

“I love your beard. It’s your signature.”

“I love your voice.”

“I love your flannel.”

Barry snorted out a laugh, “My flannel? Of all things, my flannel?”

Dan crossed his arms, trying not to smile, “I couldn’t think of anything else.”

Barry stood, cupping the singer’s face, “I’ll give you something else to love.” Barry slowly pulled Dan’s face closer to his, giving the other man plenty of time to pull away, but he remained in his hands. Their lips touched lightly before Barry threw his arm around Dan’s neck with all intentions of deepening it, but pulled away at the last second.

Dan knitted his eyebrows, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just can’t believe any of this is happening. Like of all my stupid feelings for the longest time, this is the one that came true. Why?”

Dan gave the man a nose kiss, causing him to crinkle his nose. “Because I love you, that’s why. Now are we going to go back to kissing or do you wanna talk some more?”

“Kissing then talking.”

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr [ sumide1711uu ](http://sumide1711uu.tumblr.com/)


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